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Thursday, November 06, 2008

This is hilarious(adapted from an email)

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty

Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet

Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty

Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks

Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead

Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs

Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death

Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum

Henry (heng liu)
(Hokkien) – Pay up

Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow

Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt

Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long

Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother

Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death

Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails

Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings

Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before

honestly, who came up with this stupid joke?LOL.
but it does brightens up my day.
my pictures are not in the com yet! :/
so here's another adapted 'facts' from a blogger.


The difference between Man (M) and Boy (B)

M : Know exactly what to do the next 5 years.
B : Do not know what to do the next 5 minutes.

M : Good at making woman feel at ease.
B : Good at making woman feels pleasure.

M : Read John Grisham, play golf, watch CNN.
B : Read Harry Potter, play pool, watch MTV.

M : Before 30 already had a lot of money.
B : Before 30 already had a lot of sin.

M : Balance between salary and earning.
B : Balance between debt and minimum payment.

M : Support woman equality, but still paying for the woman's food bill.
B : Support woman equality by letting the woman take care for her own bill.

M : Has a regular accountant, tailor and doctor.
B : Has a regular salon, cafe and garage.

M : Asking you to talk to his mum when she called him.
B : Pretend that you are not with him when his mum called him.

M : Break up by shaking hand and confess how difficult it is to bridge the difference with the closing statement, "We can still remains friends forever."
B : Break up with running away from home, smokes tons of cigarettes with the closing statement, "Don't invite me to your wedding!"

M : Love woman 10% in the beginning and keep on increasing.
B : Love woman 100% in the beginning and keep on decreasing.

M : Think like a 40 years old adult when he's only 17.
B : Think like a 17 years old kid when he's already 40.

M : Can win conflict using brain.
C : Can only get angry, swears and use force when faced with conflict.

M : Thinks that, "I still don't know enough, I need to learn more."
B : Thinks that, "I'm the best in the world, I can face anyone."

M : Brain is number 1, plus muscles if needed.
B : Muscles is number 1, plus brain if there is any.

M : Ride bicycle for exercise
B : Ride bicycle to woo the ladies.


Woman & bimbo

W : Looks 5 years ahead before getting into a relationship
B : Looks 5 layers deep into a wallet before getting into a relationship

W : Good at making her guy come home after work everyday, not just for the sex
B : Good at making her guy come home after work everyday, only for the sex

W : Reads her guy's mind and understands, plays with the kids, and watches Martha Stewart.
B : Reads tabloid gossips, plays with guy's hearts and minds, watches Paris Hilton.

W : Before 30 already have her after-30 life planned.
B : Before 30 already have her the-next-30-minutes life planned.

W : Balance between salary and earning.
B : Balance between asking daddy for money and asking her guy for money.

W : Supports her guy through thick and thin.
B : Supports her guy through thick, and leaves when the wallet gets thin.

W : Has a regular job, tailor and doctor.
B : Has a regular salon, nightspot and change of boyfriends.

W : Bringing the guy to meet her parents.
B : Bringing her parents to meet the guy for knocking her up.

W : Breaks up by shaking hand and confess how difficult it is to bridge the difference with the closing statement, "We can still remains friends forever."
B : Breaks up by partying the night away in her regular nightspot. Doesn't make a difference to her anyway.

W : Loves a man 100% in the beginning and keeps on increasing.
B : Loves a man in proportion to the thickness of his wallet.

W : Looks like a 30 years old woman when she is 30.
B : Looks like a 40 years old prostitute when she is 15 with makeup enough to create a smoke diversion when slapped.

W : Wins conflicts using reasoning.
B : Wins conflicts using daddy's money as bribes.

W : Thinks that, "I need to work hard for myself and to support my guy in case anything bad happens to either one of us"
B : Thinks that, "I'm like, rich, and like, I've got my daddy to help me everytime."

W : Brains are number 1, and nothing else.
B : Boobs and snitch are number 1, plus daddy's money. Brains do not apply.

W : Rides the bicycle for exercise.
B : Rides guys. 'Nuff said.

11:45 PM

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